When my mother was in the hospital the week before she passed away, I was having difficulty believing God would plan this for such a faithful woman of only 67 years. She befriended many in need and shared her faith freely. This didn't make sense...allowing a Godly woman to die with so many needing her witness and encouraging words. I prayed and prayed and prayed for her to get well. I prayed for a miracle. But the cancer was rapidly taking over her body. It was becoming clear that a miracle was not going to take place. So I began to pray and ask God to make sense of this senselessness! I asked him why he was allowing such a horrible thing. I wasn't getting any answers. God seemed distant. Comfort and answers were nowhere to be found. Only silence with each prayer. After yet another prayer, I let my feelings be known to God..."What do you care! You won't even answer me!" Silence was finally broken with these words, "Trust in me with all of your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge me and I will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (my paraphrase). It suddenly occurred to me why God was silent. I wasn't giving him any room to speak to me. My mind was made up that God was being unfair to take my mother so soon. Furthermore, he was turning his back on the importance of her earthly ministry. This was MY UNDERSTANDING. "Trust me...I know what I'm doing." Of course! What would my earthly, depraved mind know about the just, righteous ways of God? "Trust in me... not in your earthly understanding" I clung to these verses over the next several weeks and they brought me comfort. I am thankful for God's words which speak to me in times of need. How important it is to be in God's word. His words will break the silence of loneliness. We are not alone. Read God's word daily and let him speak to you. "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105
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